Down, Up, Down

Oh my gosh, I felt so low yesterday. I can't figure out exactly why other than my hormones shifting gears. I'm sure you know the feeling, no energy, no will, apathy & worry. It's the worst! The best I could manage to do for myself was down a bunch of vitamins and take walk in the park.

I must say it was beeee-uuuuu-eatiful yesterday. It is Spring and every one is out showing off their new babies while they stroll sidewalks of sunshine and flowers. Ok that's about as much positivity I can muster up right now.

Now that I think about it all my yucky, sickly, apathetic feelings probably have more to do with my circumstances than my hormones. Then again I think it's pretty hard to separate ones physiology from ones life. In short, I applied myself to slew of top art schools and was summarily rejected from everyone of them. It hurt. It hurt bad. Then my employer told me he's not sure how to work with me anymore because he feels the "vibe is all wrong". As in, and these are his words, "I just want to leave my wife and steal you away from Justin". Whoa!

All I could do to reassure him (and try to keep working until I found new employment) was to tell him he was tripping and that he needed to pull himself together. Probably not the most sage advise but it was all I could think of other than, "you're being a real jerk, cut it out! and get back to work".

Granted this isn't the first time he's said totally jerky, inappropriate things to me. I won't get into all his sleazy ways because it's actually pathetic and boring. I usually just ignore that sort of talk and keep plugging away at my work, but this time I guess he didn't want me to ignore him.

So..... I think it would probably be more accurate to say that dealing with art school rejection, loss of employment, a nasty cold that stuck around waaaay to long, and general hormonal ups and downs (as a woman is apt to experience) is a pretty sure way to feel miserable.